What do women really want? Diamonds are nice, but studies show that women’s needs are pretty basic. Unfortunately, they think their husbands don’t meet them or don’t give equal priority to them.
So men, sit up and listen. This list will help you anticipate your wife’s emotional needs. Do this, and you’ll keep her happy – and you can always gently remind her that you’re actually doing your best. It’ll save you a lot of fights, nagging, and tearful accusations of: “You don’t care about me!”
1. “We want to know that you’re committed to the family.
We can forgive you if you don’t always wash the dishes or pass by for the dry cleaning. But we need to know that we can rely on you to share the responsibility of raising the kids. Read to them, play with them, take them on frequent outings. It won’t kill you, either, to read up on parenting books or at the very least ask us about the latest trends. Don’t ever say, “The kids are your problem.” Last time we checked, you were part of conception – now be part of everything else, too.
2. “We want to know that we can rely on you to provide.
This doesn’t mean that you have to provide an extravagant lifestyle. And we’re not expecting you to do it on your own, either. Most women (at least the fair, rational ones) are more than willing to help out and supplement the family’s income.
What we can’t deal with, however, is a bum. Someone who depends on others—an inheritance, or his poor wife—to pay the bills, while you sit on his sorry ass. Unless, of course, you agreed as a couple that you would stay home and take care of the kids. However, this is a job, too, with the very important responsibility of providing a happy, well-ordered home. Take it seriously, and don’t expect your wife to handle house duties on top of making money.
Let’s put it this way: your wife needs a partner, not another child to take care of.
3. “We want to feel cherished.”
The secret? Affection, and lots of it. Show love through words, cards, gifts, hugs, kisses and courtesies. And no, just saying “Hey, I want to have sex tonight” doesn’t count. Women need to experience tenderness that has no strings attached. Tenderness for its own sake, because you want to give it, and you think we deserve it.
4. “We want heartfelt conversations.”
Are all the conversations about bills, kids, work? Do all the “serious” conversations deteriorate into angry fights and judgmental statements?
Women need emotional connection, and that means being able to share thoughts, feelings, dreams, etc. without being judged or ignored. We want to open up—and we want you to open up to us, too. We feel brushed off when you just say, “I don’t want to talk about it” or give a look or grunt that clearly says, “I’m fine, go away.”