Valentine’s Day is a day loved and respected by some (happy couples) and hated by others (bitter singles and couples on the verge of breaking up). While the three groups can seldom agree on how to take it — and some have even gone to calling it “Single Awareness Day,” what everyone should agree on, is that horror movies on Valentines Day are awesome, albeit for very different reasons.
Happy couples can take joy in the fact that if one partner gets scared, there’s an excuse to snuggle. Unhappy couples and bitter singles can take joy in the fact that other people, even if they are a bunch of movie characters, are having a worse V-Day than they are. Luckily, we’ve got five horror movies to share that should go perfect with the festivities.
1. My Bloody Valentine
If we had to rank these, this one would be at the top, especially in the uncut version that wasn’t released on DVD until 2012. If you like atmosphere, blood, guts, and relatively competent filmmaking, then this is the movie for you. Again, in uncut form, it earns the heck out of that R rating, so it’s not for the squeamish.
2. My Bloody Valentine 3D
The 2009 remake of My Bloody Valentine is way more over-the-top than its predecessor, and the red stuff is mostly CGI, so it comes off hokier, but it’s still a lot of fun seeing psycho coal miner “Harry Warden” in action again. (Though, SPOILER ALERT, if you’ve seen either flick, you know Harry Warden is just a red herring for the true killer.)
3. The Loved Ones
Technically, this Australian horror film is centered around the prom, but what is Valentine’s Day if not a precursor to that magical night in the lives of most 16- to 18-year-olds? The Loved Ones is part torture porn, part dark comedy, and centers on a twisted teen, who decides to kidnap her “prom date” and subject him to unimaginable horrors.
4. Lovers Lane
Lovers Lane, from 2000, was one of the few standouts among the second glut of slasher movies. The first glut produced the superior My Bloody Valentine in the early 1980s. The second, on the heels of Scream, birthed this shocker with Anna Faris and Richard Sanders (WKRP’s Les Nessman) about an escaped mental patient who may (or may not) be picking off teenagers one-by-one using a hook. Not very original, we know, but slasher flicks don’t have to be as long as the kills are good — and for the most part, these are.
Valentine is definitely the weakest to watch of the horror movies on Valentines Day. It has a dumb ending and a by-the-numbers childhood memory-turned-revenge plot. However, it’s worth watching for the creepy looking Cupid Killer and an early screen appearance of Katherine Heigl. Plus, it’s pretty tame on violence, so it should be “just right” as a couples horror movie. Based on the Tom Savage novel, it also stars David Boreanaz, Denise Richards, Marley Shelton, and Jessica Capshaw.
Do you watch horror movies on Valentines Day? If so, what are your favorites? Share in the comments section below!