Hidden anger hurts your health, and temper outbursts can damage your relationship. So if you’re In the habit of suppressing what you feel and then going berserk when the stress piles up, read this article. It will help you understand your temper and then identify and control the triggers that lead to emotional outbursts.
The right way to “talk it out”
When we’re angry we want to march to the other person and tell him off. This is one sided conversation: you talk (or scream) and you really don’t want to hear the other person’s side. Instead, do your venting in a journal, and save the conversation for the time when you’re ready to really listen to the other person and work together for some kind of a solution.
Also avoid superlatives and generalizations. Phrases like “you never/you always” or “you should/would/could.”
Explore different anger management treatments
If temper outbursts are getting to be a real problem, consider talking to an anger management counselor who can work with you to identify your anger triggers. You will also learn how to become aware of signs that you’re getting upset, and then deal with the feelings in a healthy way. You may also find out that if what you see as anger is actually grief, depression, insecurity, or another form of repressed emotion.
Other options are anger management classes (where you join a group that is guided by a counselor) or alternative therapies like acupuncture.
Mad at another person? Try to take the empathic approach and imagine what the other person is going through. What is he afraid of? What is he going though right now? What kind of anxieties or concerns may be motivating him to act this way?
Keep a diary
Not only does this let you release feelings and thoughts, but it may also help you see a pattern in the things that make you upset. A diary can also be a safe way to yell, cuss and insult the other person—calming you down so you’ll be ready when you meet him again.
Work it off
Take up a sport or exercise where you can release all that negative energy and frustration. Exercise also helps your body release hormones that make you feel happier.