Do you know someone whoâs always whining, complaining, blaming, or bringing up worst case scenarios? These âenergy vampiresâ can leave you emotionally drained, especially if they turn their negativity on you. Maybe itâs the co-worker who always blows apart your ideas. Or the over-critical parent who always finds fault with what you do. You canât change the way they think or act, but you can â with these life tips â stay positive and enthusiastic, and even turn their negative energy into positive energy. Hereâs how to do it.
Respond with compassion
When someone blames you, your gut instinct is to blame them back. Donât feed the cycle of negativity! Instead, try to understand why this person is thinking or behaving that way (maybe your pessimistic co-worker feels stuck in his job, or your overcritical father is just worried for you and has no other way of expressing that). You may not be able to help the other personâin fact, 99% of the time they will refuse to be helpedâbut at least you realize 1) it has nothing to do with you, and 2) you let go of any frustration and anger towards them.
Refuse to play the blame game
Bullies need victims; drama queens need an audience. Well, you donât have to be that! When they act up, smile and ignore them. Replying or reacting only feeds their negativity.
Of course, thatâs easier said than done, especially when they make painful personal comments! Try to distance yourself by imagining the encounter as a scene from a soap opera or reality show. Doesnât it look tragic, comical, even absurd? Allow your mind to have fun with this. What actress would play your crazy boss? What would be a great plot twist (âand thenâ¦she finds out that Greg from accounting is actually her long-lost brother!â)
End all conversations on a positive note
You can tell the whiner in your office, âOh it canât be that badâ¦ come on, letâs think of something great that happened this week.â Just choose to radiate positive energy! Two good things can happen. One is that the other person will actually snap out of the negativity. Or, he may completely disagree with you, and avoid talking to you because youâre too upbeat and cheerful for his taste. Either way, you win!
Look for the lesson
Sometimes negative people or scenarios may actually be the universeâs way of pushing you out of your comfort zone. They could be a sign that you need to hang out with other people, or that thereâs something in your work environment that is stifling creativity and you need to find a new job or look for other ways of self-expression. Or, if you feel an intense reaction to something someone said, this could help you understand hidden feelings, fears or insecurities.
Photo from wretch.cc